Chicken Soup for the Aging Heart Part IV

You know when you are getting old when you no longer...

# have a favourite color (quoted from kosin)
# look forward to your younger siblings birthdays, as they remind you how old you are.
# look forward to your older siblings/ parents' birthdays, as they remind you that one day (which is pretty soon) you'll be like them.
# look forward to your own birthday, in hope that if you didnt celebrate it, it doesnt count.
# buy Teens/ Teenage/ Seventeen magazines off shelves. You bought Female/ Vogue/ Cleo instead
# borther to follow the trend and change handphones. All we need is a simple smsing and calling function, too many functions confuses us.
# have to read weather forecast cuz your bones are equally reliable.
# watch cartoons and watch drama serials instead, in hope to inject some "drama" into the already stagnant life.
# have to sleep 10hours a day. 6 hours will be enough.
# sleep through the night w/o waking up
# hear your favourite songs on 93.3FM or 98.7FM... but on Class 95.0FM and 97.2FM or even 95.8FM
# shake your head when your mum tunes to oldies. You sang along with her.
# listen much to lyrical songs. Jazz music appeals to you.
# log on to facebook every single day to accept all the nonsensical applications your friends sends you.
# log on to Friendster anymore.
# remember names with faces anymore. For a start, you cant even remember names
# fantasize about the future. Time to get realistic.
# carries a crumpler, but a LV/ Prada bag.
# go out without your makeup
# can get up at 5am like you did in secondary school days.
# think CCAs are essential
# look forward to graduation.


P.S. You would like to think the examples are fictitious.

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cant sleep

I cant sleep

The Reason
maybe cuz i've exams to worry about
maybe cuz i took a nap in the afternoon
maybe cuz i decided to stay up mugging
maybe cuz i had 3 cups of green tea in the mornings
maybe cuz i decided to recall what i've memorised
maybe cuz the weather is too hot
maybe cuz the aircon isnt cool enough
maybe cuz i had new collage ideas
maybe cuz i'm thinking if there's a next step that i should take

The Effects
Red Eye
Short Temper
Irritability
Tossing and turning(s)
Randomness (like the blog entries)
Minor accidents like banging the head into the freezer door


but dont worry,
i will take care of myself

Moreover, with enough occurences, i can derive a formulae for sleeplessness
who knows, maybe i get a noble prize for this.

still, in my walk to stay sane.
still, trying...

Silence

i kept quiet

maybe cuz i dont know how to react
maybe cuz i'm thinking of conversation topics
maybe cuz i have no idea how to continue the conversation
maybe cuz we've been through the days where we feel awkard not talking.
maybe cuz i'm feeling insecure

seriously there's nothing to worry when i kept quiet.
cuz its all about me.

Random RAmblings. - a break from poa

i guess it's my problem.
i need alot alot of security.
and i only trust what's familiar

Quoting Randy's msn nick: Circling around a cycle of friends

its ironic.
The way i guard myself against who's foreign.
as such, they'll never get to be familiar.

I wished i know how to deal with such situations.

URGH

For the first time this week, i managed to sleep through the night.
credits to the eREV exercise yesterday.
wave of lethargy right after the eREV exercise yesterday.
I totally hate having to choose the timetable
And hated more after i get stupid slots.
LIKE LECTURES ON SATURDAYS AND SUNDAY FROM 1000am to 1700pm
urghsss

10 more days to prelims
And the exam dates are yet to be finalised
arghhh

on the 16th, was randomly checking the school portal to see if there are any notices.
and then i saw "Opting in for written prelim exams, deadline 17th Feb)
they didnt even sms to inform us that we HAD to opt in to take the written exams
And we had all thought that by default, we will be taking written exams instead of online prelims.
another mad rush to send smses to other fellow mates.
zZzzZZZzZZz

Wondering how we will get past eight 10-5 lectures on weekdays and weekends.


i need to take a walk.

Chicken Soup For The Heart Theories Part IV

yes, the series is back...

I think i've said a thousand times about letting go of the past.

And i think it has never worked.

Nevertheless... ...

i am trying to make peace with my past,
to stop spoiling the present,
and not jeopardise the future.

The first step begins with clearing the inbox.
the whole idea about keeping past messages started with very naive thoughts
... of seeking comfort in those past words of encouragement
... of trying to prove that my feelings has been reciprocated
... to substantiate that it wasnt just an imagery that i had come up with
... a basis for my long-held beliefs.
And if it had worked, i wouldnt be where i am today.

Making peace with the past comes with acceptance.
Accepting your past decisions...
If given another chance, i know i'll still make the same decision.
It comes with no regrets.

Not forgetting to advertise....

Business for the past week has been pretty good with custom-make book sleeves and gift tags orders.
Thanks for the support!
Psst, need a co-owner/ designer real soon